A Bunch of Monkeys (Sordid Stories #1)

I’m easily entertained, and (I think) creative about the stories my son and daughter get when they ask for a story before bed. So I’m storing some of them for recycling on my grandkids someday.

My wife laid out a few rules about bedtime stories I try to adhere to… in my own way.

  1. Bedtime stories must be short.
  2. Bedtime stories are quiet.
  3. Bedtime stories aren’t exciting, and involve the protaganist sleeping all night long in their own bed.

1 out of 3 isn’t bad.

Pink Baby and a Bunch Of Monkeys:

Once upon a time, Pink Baby* was hanging out in the jungle, up in a tree.

And a bunch of monkeys came by!

The monkeys were eating coconuts, and Pink Baby started crying.

“Wah, wah wah! I want a coconut! Wah wah wah!” It was really quite annoying.

Of course, the monkeys didn’t understand Pink Baby. So she cried and cried, while they sat around, passing each other coconuts to eat, chattering loudly and watching her cry.

Finally, a nice, pretty Momma-monkey came over to Pink Baby, and picked her up. Pink Baby stopped crying as the gentle Momma-monkey looked softly in her eyes, like she wanted to help Pink Baby.

WHACK!* The Momma-monkey bonked Pink Baby on the head, and Pink Baby slept for 3* days.

  • Pink Baby is my daughter’s 2nd or 3rd favorite doll. She’s not as desirable as Sally or “Baby of my baby”, but this story has made her famous around bedtime.
  • “Whack!” was accompanied by Daddy head-butting Pink Baby unexpectedly. Note: laughing children are hard to get to sleep. Children who imitate Daddy get headaches.
  • When my daughter retells this story, 3 days seems too short. So she substitutes 49.