Watch Out For The Ooof! (Sordid Stories #2)

“Pirate Omar” is a recurring character in my daughter’s favorite story requests. He’s basically a happy-go-lucky, friendly, adventurous pirate who sleeps in his own bed (on his pirate ship, of course) all night long.

This particular story has only been told to my 2 year old son once. And yet he repeats the fun part every chance he gets.

Watch Out For The Ooof!

Once upon a time, Pirate Omar wanted to see if he could sail all the way across the ocean to the clouds far, far away.

He sailed all day and all night, and all the next day. After all that sailing he was very tired, so he went to sleep in his bed.

The next morning he woke up when he heard a sailor yell “Watch out for the Oof!”.

Pirate Omar sat straight up in his bed, curious about the funny thing the sailor said.

“Watch out for the Oof!”, he heard another sailor shout.

Pirate Omar jumped out of bed, ran up onto the deck and looked around. Everywhere was foggy and gray. He couldn’t see very much – they must have reached the clouds!

Just then, another sailor called out, “Pirate Omar! Watch out for the”

OOOF!*

A big fluffy cloud had bonked right into Pirate Omar’s head and knocked him right down. He slept all day and all night again.

  • “OOOF!” is only fully appreciated when you whack your sleepy child in the head with a pillow. At which point they’re no longer sleepy.
  • The first time you tell this story, it’s better to hit yourself with the pillow… hitting an unsuspecting, sleepy child might be considered abuse. It’ll certainly incite crying. Subsequent retellings are fair game for whacking children.

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3 Comments

  1. Thanks for pointing out the technical inaccuracy in the story I tell a 3 year old, who is sure to note the distinction and dismiss my fiction, staying up all night in protest.
    🙂

  2. I must say, if one thing remains a constant, it’s your aptitude for humor.

    Have any stories about full moons? 🙂

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