NASA scientists are tripping all over themselves with the glorious revelation that there might have been water on Mars. Yes, you read correctly: once upon a time, there was water on Mars.
The end of your troubles is at hand. Martian water will cure cancer, balance the federal budget, prolong lives, reanimate the unfortunate-dead, pay your taxes, put gas in your car, and work for you, enabling a life of leisure and carefree pleasure. Martian water is a renewable energy source, will scrub the atmosphere clean, and promote peace among the nations. How could we have ever done without Martian water?
I think every penny of the money spent on that stupid, worthless, unredeemable journey to Mars to find out that there MIGHT have been water there is owed back to us in the form of a complete refund. Whoever thought we should pay millions, if not billions of dollars over the last 20 years to build an International Space Station, or send erector sets to Mars was not well in the head. It doesn’t do us here on Earth a damn bit of good. And we go right on paying for it.